Signs He's Not Headed Toward a Relationship With You
So, you're dating someone consistently and he seems to really like you, but you get the feeling he's not gunning for a committed relationship. So what are the specific indications that this guy — as pleasantly as things are going — does not plan to stick around long-term? I asked an actual guy named Mike what he tends to do when he doesn't plan to end up in a relationship with someone he's dating. Here are 11 telltale signs.
by Erin Meanley
Texting Instead of Calling
Does he text more often than he calls? When a guy likes a girl, he wants to hear her voice. "Texting is not an easy way to communicate — it's an easy way to avoid communication," says Mike.
He's Never on Time
He finds reasons to blow you off or be late more times than not. Maybe he's just flaky or disorganized, you say? Don't make excuses. If a guy likes you and wants to continue hanging out with you, he'll find a way to do so. Adds Mike: "I'll come in to work one hour early if I want to get off in time to pick up cooking ingredients for a dinner date with someone I like."
His Ex Is Still In the Picture
He talks to his ex-girlfriends. Nothing makes a guy forget his ex like a girl he wants to be with. If he continues talking with an ex, that's the first sign that he's either not over a prior girlfriend or he's just not that in to you.
He Doesn't Introduce You to His Friends
He should be proud of you, want to show you off and want to include you in his life.
Complete Absence of PDA
He avoids even minor instances of intimacy in public. "Listen, not all guys are comfortable with PDA. Not everyone likes to make out for the whole world to see. But when I really like someone, no matter what I'm generally comfortable doing, I'll at least put my arm around her and give her a kiss on the cheek."
No Mentions of Future Plans Together
He doesn't use the pronoun "we" or use it in the future tense. If he talks about a great new restaurant he discovered, but doesn't add, "We should go there sometime" — and maybe he just says "I go there a lot" — then he's not interested in sharing things with you. Plus: "Guys who are into girls want to explore with them — not sit on the couch on every date," says Mike.
Lack of Kindness
He doesn't do something sweet for you at least once a week. That doesn't mean he's buying you a dozen roses but he should have said or done something that made you go "Aw!" in the last seven days.
Shows No Interest In People You Love
He doesn't ask questions about your family and friends.
He Doesn't Suggest or Plan Dates
What if he doesn't initiate at least 80% of the things you do together? "I call this the 80/20 rule," explains Mike. "When I don't like a girl, the 80% drops significantly. I'm not even aware of it. I'll get off the phone and never close the conversation with a set of plans." Note that it doesn't have to be exact plans, but it should at least be, "Let's hang out later this week and we'll do dinner. I'll call you tomorrow."
Important Dates Don't Resonate for Him
He doesn't remember your one month anniversary.
Radio Silence on His Facebook Page
Has he posted a picture of you together on Facebook within two months of the first date? Guys who are excited about you will post and tag your beautiful face!
Okay. Hopefully I didn't depress you. But the message here is, if you want a relationship with someone and he's acting out the above list, move on. I don't believe in "waiting it out" or "breaking him down" so he will "come around." Don't put up with someone who semi-likes you. Date someone who is dying to be with you. (You will find him — but you have to know you deserve it!!)
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